The Brittas Empire

Episodes

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  Episode 1 Laying the Foundations 1991-01-03 Gordon Brittas is the manager at Whitbury Leisure Centre. Builders are working in the car-park but Gordon is very rude to one of them and they go on strike. He causes more trouble when he upsets one of the staff and he's in for it when he is having a meeting with the staff.
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  Episode 2 Opening Day 1991-01-10 It's Opening Day at Whitbury Leisure Centre and Gordon is getting ready to meet the Duchess of Kent. But things are going wrong when the electric doors aren't working properly and the water from the swimming pool is disappearing and the temperature rises. Will Gordon sort it all out before the Duchess of Kent arrives?
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  Episode 3 Bye Bye Baby 1991-01-24 Carole has heard that her husband Derek is coming back, after abandoning her. After all these years she will not have to work, Ben will have a father and she will feel much better. Meanwhile her baby goes missing and reception is getting crowded. Gordon tells Colin to find the baby and return it. Unfortunately Colin ends up returning the wrong baby. Then Gordon thinks he's helping a man who has suffered from stress. Will everything go right?
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  Episode 4 Underwater Wedding 1991-01-31 While doing an interview with Beverly, Gordon realises that the best man at the underwater wedding taking place in the pool is in trouble. Gavin is asked to help and then a drunk disabled man in an electric wheelchair is on the loose causing havoc. Gordon is ready to stop the drunkard but ends up sending Gavin to hospital.
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  Episode 5 Stop Thief! 1991-02-07 Things have gone missing and Gordon has closed the centre for the day. He explains that there could be a thief about and sets a trap to catch him. The plan is to hide in a locker and see who takes the bait (his wallet). Meanwhile Helen is suffering more stress then ever and takes Gordon to see the doctor, leaving Colin to hide in the locker. As long as Gordon remembers he's left Colin in there!
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  Episode 6 Assassin 1991-02-14 Someone is out to kill Gordon, injuring Helen by accident after sabotaging Gordon's brakes, and wants Gavin to help him with the foul deed. Gordon and a few others are taken to the hospital's intensive care unit, badly injured by a lorry hitting Gordon as he walked across a zebra crossing.

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  Episode 1 Back from the Dead 1992-01-02 Gordon is away at a conference in Bulgaria. Meanwhile the Leisure Centre is low on visitors, then news spreads that Gordon is dead. Everyone is happy and the centre is pouring with visitors. All goes well until Gordon returns which shocks everyone, especially Carole who thinks Gordon is back from the dead.
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  Episode 2 Temple of the Body 1992-01-09 Gordon explains to the staff about worshipping other people's temples - his euphemism for the human body. He then finds a cupboard is being slept in when finding a duvet cover sticking out, then Gavin's hat turns up. Gordon tells Tim, who gets cross when he thinks Gavin is sleeping in the centre with someone. Gordon decides to find out what Gavin is up to and lays a bug in Linda's top so he can listen in. But Gordon is shocked at who is actually using the cupboard.
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  Episode 3 An Inspector Calls 1992-01-16 An inspector is coming over and Gordon wants everything to be as good as gold for when he gets to the Leisure Centre. However, Gordon then has to deal with a pigeon in the gymnasium. Ideas to remove it go from bad to worse. It's also Helen's birthday and Gordon has bought her a moped, about which she is far from thrilled. What will happen when the inspector makes his inspection?
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  Episode 4 Set in Concrete 1992-01-23 An argument with the Rotary Club results in them setting Gordon's feet in concrete. After frequent arguments break out, Gordon thinks the centre has sick building syndrome. A specialist arrives, and Laura is tasked with explaining to Gordon that he is the cause of the centre's problems. Laura proceeds to explain subtext and tone of voice to Gordon, after which he decides to return the moped bought for Helen and buy her a car instead, to her delight.
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  Episode 5 Mums and Dads 1992-01-30 A concert is to be held at Whitbury Leisure Centre. Also, Gordon's dad Jim has come to the centre with a piano. But Gordon is expecting a grand piano, which is going to be havoc getting through to the gymnasium. Petrov, who is going to be performing, then encounters a problem when Jim drops his piano from the stairs. Who will perform now?
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  Episode 6 Safety First 1992-02-13 Gordon is running a practice fire drill and makes it more complicated than ever. Meanwhile, Helen is planning a picnic in Gordon's office and wants him there. Gordon tries to convince Councillor Dapping of the need for a new fire escape by describing an extreme scenario. Dapping isn't convinved, but could Gordon's example prove prophetic?
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  Episode 7 New Generations 1992-02-20 A pregnant cow loose in the centre eats some of Colin's leaves, which speed up labour. It gives birth on the squash courts, assisted by a gynaecologist. Carole has also eaten some of the leaves, and her twins are delivered by the vet who had come to assist the bovine mother-to-be. Helen tells Laura that she is pregnant with twins and although Carole was too worse for wear to know the father of her twins, Helen does!

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  Episode 1 The Trial 1993-01-07 One of Gordon's enemies is coating random items with glue, and shady characters repeatedly appear in the centre. This leads to a massacre of several Bolivian drug dealers in the squash courts, the felling of several OAPs, and Gordon facing trial for drug running and multiple murders. Could Gordon's influence upon one of the criminals be enough to save his own skin?
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  Episode 2 That Creeping Feeling 1993-01-14 Offended by Gordon's "individual figure and fitness targets", the staff refuse to speak to him; his diplomatic response is to bring in a psychiatrist to check staff anxiety levels. The psychiatrist tells Gordon that he is the cause of his staff's stress. A deadly tropical spider bites Colin and Gordon sucks out the poison. Considering where the bite was, the staff can't fail having a new-found respect.
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  Episode 3 Laura's Leaving 1993-01-21 Laura has an interview for manager of a leisure centre in London. Helen is worried that without Laura, she'll be unable to cope. A man is trying to get a cup of coffee with ever-increasing angst. A concussed Colin is sent to adjust the heating in the pool, leading to the electrocution of church members performing baptisms. Havoc escalates, including Carole getting fired. Will serenity prevail when Laura decides to return?
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  Episode 4 Two Little Boys 1993-01-28 Gordon's brother, Reverend Horatio Brittas, visits for the centre's anniversary celebrations, and 36 staff from a Guildford leisure centre visit for their annual staff outing, intent upon making Gordon the focus of their amusement. The oil tank is leaking so Colin decides to store the oil in the weights room. What could go wrong?
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  Episode 5 Sex, Lies and Red Tape 1993-02-04 Laura's estranged husband, Michael T. Farrell, arrives at the centre two and a half years after the couple split up. He wants her to have his child, because being a father is a condition of his inheriting his family's fortune. Gordon is unhappy and endeavours to get rid of him, despite being on a sponsored silence. He is horrified to learn that Helen is about to be charged with shoplifting and that she had been convicted of the same crime several times before she met him. The staff are interested in the draft of a novel that Carole has written.
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  Episode 6 The Stuff of Dreams 1993-02-11 Troubled by dreams about his own mortality and his legacy, Gordon is pushing age awareness and disguises himself as an elderly man as an experiment, resulting in a fight with a pensioner in reception. Helen goes into labour early and wants Laura to drive her to hospital, but Gordon is behind the wheel. After the pensioner from reception accidentally drives into Gordon's car at low speed, medical students come to Helen's aid in Whitbury High Street.

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  Episode 1 Not a Good Day... 1994-01-10 It's Life Cycle Week at Whitbury Newtown Leisure Centre and Sebastian Coe MP has come to broadcast the news. Then trouble ensues when a cyclist dies, naturally upsetting his wife; and young Ben makes his way into the vents, with Carole and Helen trying to get him out. Then a centurion has a fight with Gordon because his son has been arrested, which escalates to the Classical War Society starting war against the entire centre.
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  Episode 2 The Christening 1994-01-17 Gordon and Helen are having their twins baptised. The rehearsal goes wrong and Carole ruins the christening cake - but can she disguise it? Meanwhile Horatio tells Gordon he's in love with a girl he has met, then the babies go missing. Will the christening go as planned?
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  Episode 3 Biggles Tells a Lie 1994-01-24 It's Gordon's day off and Colin has dressed like Brittas, pretending to be manager. Colin's daughter Stephanie is coming to see her father. Everyone agrees to play along and soon everything is running well - until Gordon turns up!
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  Episode 4 Mr Brittas Changes Trains 1994-01-31 Things are getting rather strange at Whitbury Newtown Leisure Centre. Carole seems to be croaking a lot while talking, Linda does nothing but bark about a lot and keeps talking in dog language and Colin keeps telling everyone that he loves them and keeps taking his trousers off. All of this is making Gordon very cross so he decides to call the hypnotist and put everyone back to normal. This then gets Laura thinking.
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  Episode 5 Playing with Fire 1994-02-07 Gordon is doing a survey on how much electricity is being used and prepares a lot of forms for the staff. Colin meanwhile does an experiment which involves using the lavatories. Then Gavin gets a big shock when his old girlfriend Jenny comes to the centre to see him - then realises that she came from a clinic.
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  Episode 6 Shall We Dance? 1994-02-14 Gordon seems to be spending a lot of time with Laura while Helen and the children are on holiday. Everyone thinks that there is something going on. Gordon is planning to take Laura to the dance at the centre. Then Laura's husband Michael unexpectedly turns up to see her. And Carole's boyfriend intends to propose, though getting his arm stuck in the suggestion box is just the beginning.
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  Episode 7 The Chop 1994-02-28 Gordon is teaching the staff how to play 'Game of Life'. Councillor Drugget arrives and tells Gordon he is going to be sacked. Gordon is cross and ignores him, then Councillor Drugget finds out that Helen borrowed £300 for a dog that then fowls in the pool. Now Gordon has to choose: either he quits his job or Helen goes to jail.
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  Episode 8 High Noon 1994-03-07 Laura sees Gordon working at a petrol station, causing more trouble then ever and holding up the traffic. The centre's new manager Alan Digby is having trouble when Gordon gets on his nerves. Then a gas leak is found and there's a large explosion which brings the entire centre down. Everyone is clear but Gordon is nowhere to be seen. Could this be the last of Gordon Brittas?

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  Episode 1 The Old, Old Story 1994-10-31 After the centre was destroyed by a large fire, Gordon is now back as manager. 'Songs of Praise' is going to be held in the gymnasium. Trouble ensues after a few incidents occur, causing suspicion of another serial killer. After constant interruption while being interviewed for 'Songs of Praise', Gordon discovers the unlikely culprit.
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  Episode 2 Blind Devotion 1994-11-07 Gordon is thinking of going to Brussels as European Commissioner for Sport. Colin gets blinded when his garden explodes, so Gordon considers sacking him. Gordon kills Colin's pet bird and tells Tim to get another one. When discovered that it's Colin's birthday and his aunt has died, Gordon decides to promote him to deputy manager!
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  Episode 3 Brussels Calling 1994-11-14 Gordon is in Brussels being interviewed for European Commissioner for Sport. He keeps calling to check on the centre, although there is still chaos. Helen is in trouble after trying to kill a teacher, who's at his son's birthday party at the centre and thinks Helen is trying again. There's a rat infestation and Colin's spraying potassium chlorite on weeds. What could go wrong?
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  Episode 4 The Lies Have It 1994-11-21 Gordon is explaining safety at the building site for a new room. Michael T. Farrell comes for a job which Gordon isn't keen to give but gives Michael an application form. Carole is upset because no-one remembered her birthday. Michael tells Gordon there was a party to cover for himself and Helen. News soon spreads among staff as Gordon investigates, but Colin thinks the party was real and he was not invited.
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  Episode 5 The Boss 1994-11-28 Gordon explains that Gavin will be taking over as trial manager for the day. Gavin is keen but Gordon sticks with him and creates exaggerated emergency situations like pregnancies, marooned school buses and poisonous gas leaks. Meanwhile Carole is going out for the day but is shocked to discover that her friend is dead.
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  Episode 6 Pregnant! 1994-12-05 Gordon has done staff urine tests which show all the women in the centre are pregnant - as well as Tim! Carole is shocked and Gordon concludes that Colin may be the father, who is prepared to do the honourable thing. Gordon believes Tim to be a woman - and isn't subtle about trying to prove it. Laura soon discovers that Julie hasn't been honest about the tests.
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  Episode 7 UXB 1994-12-12 Colin discovers an unexploded bomb in the basement and tries to warn Gordon, who doesn't listen and tells Colin to sort it out. Gordon is preparing to depart for Brussels, though Helen isn't so keen - until she sees how well they'll be living. Colin is sent to hospital after being hit on the head by a croquet ball, leaving the staff celebrating their positive futures, oblivious to the danger in their midst.
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  Episode 8 The Last Day 1994-12-19 Could Gordon be calling off Brussels after Germany reduces its financial contribution to European Union funding? An emergency water tank is installed which falls through each floor due to the supporting wall which Carole had removed to extended the cupboard. Carole gets stuck in Ben's toy car but is pushed clear by Gordon - to his own demise. But how will heaven tolerate him?

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  Episode 1 Back with a Bang 1996-02-27 After being crushed to death Gordon has been returned to Earth by St. Peter and rebuilt at a Swiss clinic - with a few side-effects. He returns a day early and misses the red carpet welcome prepared by the staff. Colin suddenly remembers the unexploded bomb, but will he get to tell in time?
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  Episode 2 Body Language 1996-03-12 Gordon tries to explain the benefits of matching and mirroring body language. Colin suspects alien invasion when a block of ice crashes through the roof, and Helen mistakenly sells the house to a member of the US Air Force.
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  Episode 3 At the Double 1996-03-26 Gordon invites members of the Ruthenian State Circus to perform at the centre, which he is unaware includes his doppelganger. A group of US evangelists want to baptise "Brightass" in the pool after reading of his coming back from the dead.
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  Episode 4 A Walk on the Wild Side 1996-04-02 Gordon believes that a private right-of-way goes through the centre. Helen realises that she has two husbands. An outbreak of lethal diseases causes chaos. When Gordon denies the man in the "Face in the Crowd" poster his prize, the claimant goes to extreme lengths to prove it's him.
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  Episode 5 We All Fall Down 1996-04-09 Whitbury is celebrating World Peace and Hunger Day. Helen plans revenge on a nappy company that didn't use her children in a TV commercial and Tim discovers the rest of the staff earn more than him.
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  Episode 6 Mr. Brittas Falls in Love 1996-04-16 Gordon organises a "Dolphin Day" at the centre, but a baby tiger shark is delivered instead. A teenage girl arrives for two weeks of work experience, and the staff believe she has been eaten by the shark. Opposed to the use of animals for personal amusement, Linda forms a protest rally outside the centre.
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  Episode 7 Snap Happy 1996-04-23 The staff prepare for a photograph, but a chain of trivialities delays the event. Acrophobic Helen participates in a parachute jump that goes horribly wrong.

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  Episode 1 The Elephant's Child 1997-01-06 Situation comedy. Brittas organizes a sponsored bungee jump and expects his staff to take part. Helen Brittas plans a burglary to fund her bid for the franchise for the sauna solarium and Carole returns from her assertion course. (44)
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  Episode 2 Reviewing the Situation 1997-01-13 Sitcom based in a leisure center with a manic manager, Gordon Brittas. He initiates a staff review which causes some antagonism; Julie is enjoying armed police protection after threats, which includes body searches
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  Episode 3 http://etc. 1997-01-20 The center enters the 21st century as Brittas has everything computerized, which causes huge problems. Drugget is convinced it is a waste of money and will be Brittas' downfall. Helen's therapy course seem only to appeal to staff
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  Episode 4 Wake Up the Lion Within 1997-01-27 Brittas returns from a course which teaches executives how to release inner powers by roaring like a lion. He encourages his staff to try it out. The Leisure Center has been nominated for the 'European Award for Excellence
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  Episode 5 The Disappearing Act 1997-02-03 The staff at the leisure center compete for Employee of the Month award though Brittas is not convinced of the wisdom of the competition; Colin brushes up his magic act for Julie's niece's birthday party; Helen holds dream workshop
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  Episode 6 Gavin Featherly RIP 1997-02-10 Comedy set in a leisure center. Gavin is feeling depressed and is receiving therapy from Helen Brittas. He joins the rest of the staff on their annual weekend break to Burbidge-on-Sea and goes missing so Brittas arranges a funeral
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  Episode 7 Exposed 1997-02-17 Investigative journalist, Roger Ferguson, is preparing to make a television expose of the goings on at Whitbury Leisure Center. Gordon is led to believe this will be a serious documentary. An outbreak of Bobula fever causes panic.
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  Episode 8 Curse of the Tiger Women 1997-02-24 Brittas prepares to celebrate seven wonderful years since the center opened, but Druggett tells him he has been chosen for early retirement. Carole reveals he's the father of her twins!